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wordsontongue2011-07-31 02:14 pm
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Easier to Lie for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rubyelf
Title: Easier To Lie
Author:clocks
Rating: PG-13 for language
Warnings: Fluff
Beta:mindovermoney
Request: Genres - humor, silliness, fluff, adventure... just nothing too serious; Ratings - PG-13 up to NC-17; Prompt(s) or general mood(s) - nosy visitor
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. It's make believe and completely untrue.
Summary: When a reporter visits the Rings set, the hobbits get up to no good.
Author's Note: Dearrubyelf, I hope this fulfils the requirement! I tried to make it as silly as I could.
The memo was sent out early that morning, copies quickly making their way to the far-flung corners of all four units. Sean himself received it the moment he plopped down in the make-up chair that morning, struggling to keep his eyes open and feeling like death warmed over. Never again would he allow Viggo to take him out drinking the night before a morning shoot, no matter how persuasive the bastard was.
Sean squinted at the memo, which had been signed directly by PJ, and underneath his signature, Peter had scrawled in his messy, loopy handwriting: 'NO SHENNANIGANS PLS.' Not exactly surprising, given that this was the first time a reporter was allowed on the Rings set. Sean suspected that the warning had more to do with the hobbits than anybody else, but he seriously doubted an addendum like that would prevent them from planning any so-called shenanigans. If anything, it was an outright encouragement.
Sure enough, he found them already deep in discussion while standing in line at Craft services during breakfast. "What did the memo say again?" Dom asked with a frown. "Which magazine is the journo from?"
"No idea, think it's 'Entertainment Weekly' or something," Elijah replied, heaping an eye-popping amount of scrambled eggs onto his plate. "All I know is that it's a Pretty Big Deal."
"All the more reason to sabotage this, gentlemen," Billy said cheerfully. Billy was always ridiculously chirpy in the morning, which made Sean suspect that he was either masochistic or perpetually high. "Let me hear some ideas, please."
"I say we get Lighe to act like some big-shot movie star douchebag on set, and the rest of us can't have any eye contact with him, summat like that," Dom said, his eyes gleaming.
"Oh, that's fucking brilliant," Elijah said in awe. "And you guys will have to address me as 'Mr. Wood' and not Elijah--"
"Guys, you do know this is going to blow up spectacularly in your faces, right?" Astin said tiredly. "And I'm just going to stand there, pointing and laughing at you while PJ rips you guys a new one."
"Shush, shush." Billy waved a hand dismissively at him, making Astin sigh a long-suffering sigh. "That's brilliant, we'll be Lij's entourage and act like the sun shines out of his arse. What about Orlando?"
Sean just shook his head with a smile as he helped himself to several strips of bacon, already pitying the poor bastard reporter who was obviously going to be in for a multitude of nasty surprises. He briefly wondered where Viggo was; his friend had seemed to be in better shape last night when he had left Sean's trailer, but then again, appearances could be deceiving. Sean had always been able to drink Viggo under the table.
As he followed the hobbits to a nearby table, he kept half an ear on their conversation, not really wanting to participate in their shenanigans but curious all the same. Also, he wanted to be prepared so he could avoid being involved and therefore feign ignorance when PJ eventually went ballistic.
"We can spread a rumour that Orlando is shagging half the crew," Dom announced triumphantly, to applause from Elijah and Billy. "I'll ask Ngila and Kitty later to pretend to fight over him when the journo starts poking his nose around."
"You lot are terrible," Sean found himself saying, but he regretted it immediately as three mischievous faces (and one resigned one) turned to stare at him. "What if the journo thinks all of this is real? We're all going to come across as real pillocks."
"Who is?" Viggo asked as he appeared, plonking himself down at the table and practically inhaling a cup of pitch-black coffee. The bags under his eyes were a testament to his inability to hold his liquor as well as Sean could. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Have you seen the memo?" Billy shoved it under his nose, and Viggo's eyes skimmed through the first few lines before he shrugged.
"A reporter is coming later today, so?" He looked around at them for guidance, sipping the coffee. It was so strong that Sean could see the oily swirls on the surface.
"So, we're going to give that reporter something to write about," Dom said. But his eyes were flitting between Sean and Viggo, and a smile was growing on his face. "Lads, what about Beanie and Vig? What should they do?"
"No, no, leave us out of it, please." Sean held up a hand to silence their protests. "I have no wish to convince some nosy reporter that I'm sleeping with the crew or forbidding people to have eye contact with me."
Billy's delight was obvious as an idea dawned on him. "Of course! Why didn't I think about this earlier? You--" He pointed at Sean, "and you--", then he pointed at Viggo, "are going to pretend to have a secret relationship that you are hidin' from this reporter."
"Bugger off," Sean growled, while Viggo simply laughed. "Don't you think we have anything better to do?"
"Why not?" Viggo was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I think it's pretty hilarious."
"You would, you nutter." Sean concentrated on his breakfast, even though Viggo was stealing strips of bacon off his plate. "I'm not doing it, now you lot piss off."
"Figures," Dom said airily, as the rest turned back to their breakfast. "Bunch of old farts wouldn't want to play our game anyway."
Sean ignored him, while Viggo held up a finger. "Hey now, that's not fair, I never said no," Viggo reminded them.
"Your boyfriend did." Elijah's smirk remained even as Sean flipped two fingers at him. "Is it me or are all people named Sean a complete stick in the mud?"
"Sean Foote is pretty cool," Dom reminded him, making Elijah nod. "Can't speak for these two, though. Oh well."
"We're doing it," Viggo said triumphantly, even as Sean groaned. "What? I'm not going to let them call you a stick in the mud. I'm protecting the honour of Seans all over, y'know."
"Thanks but no thanks," Astin said as he got up to refill his coffee. However, now everyone was staring expectantly at Sean, who seriously wanted to grab Viggo and kick his arse. If it wasn't bad enough that they were getting pulled into some asinine stunt, they were now forcing Sean to pretend to do something that he was not really ready to deal with, something that he had buried beneath the surface and wasn't willing to examine yet, at least not while Viggo could guess what was going on with him.
Ironically, in the end, it was the pleading expression on Viggo's face that made him give in. It was very hard for Sean to say no to Viggo, to those intense blue eyes and that slightly hopefully expression Viggo was always giving him, the one that seemed to say 'We're in this together.' Sean didn't really want to examine why it was so easy to give in to whatever Viggo wanted of him. "Fine, fine, fine, but we're doing this only for a day, and if the reporter prints any shite that's not true, you lot are answering to PJ."
Dom and Billy exchanged a high-five, while Elijah pumped his fist in the air. "Don't worry, New Line will definitely vet the article before it goes to print," Elijah was saying, a deliberate innocent expression on his face which had probably suckered in several girls (and Orlando) on many occasions. "We'll be fine, it'll be hilarious. You'll see."
Sean grunted and merely continued to eat his breakfast.
***
The reporter turned out to be a nondescript woman in her 30s, blonde and wearing black-rimmed glasses. Philippa introduced her to everyone as Shelly sometime after breakfast, and Shelly had smiled politely at everyone. Sean overheard a few PAs talking cattily about her outfit, which he personally thought was fine, but apparently the girls thought she looked like a dowdy librarian with her blue checked coat. He just smiled and shook Shelly's hand when he was introduced, but Viggo went the extra mile and took her around part of the Rivendell set with Philippa. Sean would have thought that Viggo was laying it on a bit thick, but to be honest, Viggo was like that with everyone. He was just a nice, genuine bloke.
Sean forgot about the hobbits' plans for a while as he had to report to Unit 2 for another scene, running across the set with Boromir's rich red cloak sweeping behind him. Once he got there, he wasted no time in immersing himself in the scene, so intent on getting the delivery of his lines right that he almost didn't notice Shelly standing behind one of the cameras, tapping her pen against her lips. Viggo was saying something to her, pointing at Sean with wide, sweeping gestures, and Shelly seemed to be fascinated.
Oh bloody hell, not the stupid plan. Remembering what he had promised Viggo, Sean let his stare linger a little too long, and when Viggo caught his eye, he pretended to look down embarrassedly, shifting his feet a little.
"Sean, camera left, please?" someone called out.
"Sorry," he called out, giving Viggo one last furtive glance. To his surprise, Viggo was giving him this really intent stare, as though Sean were a painting that had captured his imagination. Wow, Vig is really putting a lot of effort into this. When he finally risked another glance, both Viggo and Shelly were gone.
***
Wherever Shelly the reporter went, Sean could sense the air almost shifting, as it were. He could see people straightening up, looking more alert, smiling a little too brightly and being on their best behaviour. The only ones who didn't do this were the hobbits, who were being led around by a very aloof, demanding Elijah wearing sunglasses - sunglasses! - on the set, snapping his fingers and demanding coffee. Sean almost snorted with laughter and gave the game away when he saw Philippa's astonished expression at Elijah's new diva persona, but thankfully he managed to keep a straight face. As usual, Shelly faithfully recorded everything down on her notepad in that strange Alienese shorthand. Viggo was no longer with her, having to shoot a scene with Kiran and Phon, and now Barrie was the one accompanying Shelly around the set.
Sean soon got a quick break, in which he bummed a cigarette off an extra and went to watch Viggo shoot his Amon Hen scenes. It was a treat, watching Viggo act, and apparently Sean wasn't the only one who thought so, judging from the crowd of admirers gathered behind the cameras. Careful to keep Boromir's cloak off the floor lest he incur Wardrobe's wrath, Sean puffed away and kept his eyes on Viggo, feeling simultaneously awed and jealous.
"Cut!" As the cameras stopped rolling, the small audience clapped politely, going forward to congratulate Viggo on his scene. But Sean hung back, aware that Viggo always needed a few moments to snap out of Aragorn.
Sure enough, by the time Viggo approached him, the last regal vestiges of Aragorn were fading from his eyes. "Great work," he murmured, as Viggo filched the cig from him and took a long drag. "Even got yer own little fanclub, eh?"
"Get bent." Viggo's smirk of amusement took the sting out of his words. "Missed your bitching all morning."
"You were with that reporter all morning," Sean said, then regretted it instantly because it sounded accusatory, almost jealous. And that wasn't the case at all. Unfortunately Viggo seemed to have picked up on it, due to how he was suddenly looking closely at Sean. "Vig, what are you doing?"
"Nothing." Viggo's voice sounded dreamy, almost breathy. "I meant it when I said I missed you all morning."
Oh, the reporter must be nearby. Sean tossed aside the cigarette, a hand twisting in Aragorn's cloak and tugging him closer. "Me too, mate. God, you smell so good."
Viggo's smile was just pure sunshine. From where they were standing, they were shielded by the door of the wardrobe trailer, but if someone were looking for them, it wouldn't be very hard to spot them. And Sean knew that Shelly must be around somewhere, or else Viggo wouldn't be hamming it up. "What do I smell like?" Viggo murmured, his voice going down an octave, low and intimate.
Wow, Vig is really an amazing actor. Sean could actually feel his pulse racing, the nearness of Viggo's body throwing off his concentration a bit. "Soap," Sean said after a while, licking his lips. Viggo's gaze dropped downwards. "Wood. Leaves. Cigs."
"Thought that last one was you." Viggo was leaning in as though to kiss him, but just as Sean closed his eyes, the distant blare of a megaphone calling everyone back to set startled both of them, and Sean hurriedly stepped away, his eyes darting around for Shelly to see if she had bought this little scene.
She was nowhere to be found.
"I'll see you at lunch," Viggo said, running a hand through Aragorn's wig as thought it were his own hair, before he stumbled away, leaving Sean blinking.
***
The antics of the hobbits had definitely raised a few eyebrows, particularly when Elijah started yelling at Dom for not picking out the raisins from his trail mix, while Shelly stood nearby, scribbling furiously on her notepad the entire time. Sean simply watched from the sidelines, incredulous. By now, Shelly should have picked up on how suspicious the entire fiasco was, and Sean thought he had seen Philippa walking towards PJ's trailer earlier, looking grim. If the game wasn't already up, surely it would be soon.
"I'll tell you, either that reporter is completely blind, or she's playing along," Orlando said as he stood smoking with Sean, watching Elijah pitch yet another fit in front of a wide-eyed Shelly and Barrie. "I heard you and Vig were supposed to pretend to fancy each other, has she caught on to that yet?"
"God knows," Sean said, taking in a particularly deep drag of his cig. "Can't say either Vig or I have put in much effort though, we couldn't be arsed."
At this point, Orlando almost choked on his own cigarette, smoke puffing out of him in weak clouds as he thumped his own chest, while Sean looked on in alarm. "Mate, you all right?"
"Nothing." Orlando waved him away, replacing the cig back between his lips. "Just thought it was funny."
"What was?"
"You and Vig. Not 'making an effort,' as it were." Orlando hooked his fingers in the air, looking a little smug. "Unless the two of you were filming, you've barely left each other's sides."
Sean stood there, a little stunned. Did Orlando happen to see that almost-kiss behind the wardrobe trailer? No, he couldn't have. He settled for a glare instead, hoping to scare the kid into silence. "No idea what you're on about."
"Yeah, all right, whatever." The smirk on Orlando's face was rather aggravating. "Maybe it's because you and Vig spend all your time together anyway, so it doesn't feel any different."
"I think that's a bit of an exaggeration."
"Oh? Where were you last night?" Now Orlando was staring at him through the disconcerting, alien blue gaze of Legolas's eyes. "And the night before then? And on your day off? Yeah, that's what I thought."
"You spend all your spare time with the hobbits too, you wanker." There was no way Sean was going down without a fight.
"Yeah, because of Elijah." Orlando was giving him a look that could only be described as the nonverbal equivalent of 'duh'. "My point is still very much valid, Beano."
"Vig and I are just mates," Sean said, stubbing out his cigarette as someone on the set called for lunch. "You can believe whatever you want, but if anything daft happens today, it's all for that reporter's benefit."
"Uh huh, sure." Orlando adjusted the bandanna he was wearing that was protecting the blonde Legolas wig. "Anyway, have lunch with me?"
"I'm meeting V--" Sean only realised it was a trap after he had answered, glaring at Orlando who was laughing and laughing, his not-brown eyes crinkled in mirth.
He still went ahead and met Viggo for lunch, anyway.
***
The game was finally up when Sean spotted PJ on the warpath, pulling aside the hobbits for a Very Serious Talk. But at least Elijah pretended to look contrite and ashamed, while Dom and Billy could barely contain their glee. It was a little amusing, seeing how Peter looked very much like a hobbit himself, and it felt like watching a father admonishing his hobbit sons for bad behaviour, which Sean realised was not that far from the truth. He quickly disappeared in case they started looking for him and Viggo next, and that was how he found himself in front of Viggo's trailer, knocking sheepishly on the door.
It swung open to reveal a shirtless Viggo, but he was still wearing Aragorn's breeches. He waved Sean in, not bothering to ask why he had dropped by; they both did it often enough to do away with any preliminaries. Sean closed the door behind him, peeking out of the window. Now PJ and Philippa seemed to be apologising profusely to Shelly, but at least the reporter seemed to be taking all this in her stride. For a moment, Sean almost felt a burst of admiration for her enduring all this nonsense.
"I'm guessing that their cover has been blown," Viggo said quietly, wiping his torso with a towel while Sean pretended that he wasn't wishing he was a towel.
"Serves them right," Sean said, dropping into the nearest chair and watching Viggo clean up. "And you had to agree and sign up for that rubbish too."
To his surprise, there was a fleeting expression of distress on Viggo's face. "You thought it was 'rubbish'?"
"Um." Sean frowned at the stained coffee cup sitting on top of a stack of books nearby. Why did he feel like he had just kicked a puppy in the gut? "Well, I dunno, mate. Maybe it was good for a laugh--"
"Yeah." Now Viggo was not looking at him, but Sean definitely did not imagine the slight grimace on his face before he turned away, his tone resigned. "Good for a laugh."
"Hey." Sean was on his feet before he even realised it, striding towards Viggo and grabbing his shoulders, because maybe it wasn't exactly about having a laugh, and maybe it had nothing to do with the reporter or the hobbits or the memo, and everything to do with the way Viggo looked at him, looked to him constantly, the two of them spending every scrap of free time together even though daily 16-hour shoots left them battered and tired and exhausted, and still they gravitated to each other like magnets, and Sean was a classic idiot if he hadn't realised by now why he was never able to say no to Viggo. But instead of telling him all this, the words were stuck in a helpless clump in his throat, and he just stared at Viggo, wanting to smooth away the crease in his brow.
Viggo was now looking at him, those pale blue eyes so open and searching, and Sean closed the distance between them, teasing Viggo's lips open into a slow kiss, his fingers sliding into the strands of Aragorn's wig. They only broke apart when they heard the banging on the door, and PJ's tentative, "Viggo?" They smiled a little sheepishly at each other, and Viggo turned to go and find a shirt.
They opened the door to find PJ, Philippa, Barrie, Shelly and a very contrite Dom crowding the entrance, looking in and eyeing Sean and Viggo. He let Viggo explain that this was all a huge asinine bet that they had going, and they were completely in league with the hobbits and Orlando, and they were very sorry for misleading Shelly and causing her any distress. PJ seemed to accept this with a nod, while Shelly was still standing there, her head cocked, looking at the two of them with the tiniest smile on her face.
"So it was all an act," she said, even though her eyes were dancing with amusement.
"Yes, I'm afraid it was. Sorry, luv," Sean said, trying not to wonder why Philippa looked slightly crestfallen.
"That's all right." Shelly's gaze was flitting between the both of them, her lips curving up even more. "A bit of a shame, though."
"Sorry?" Sean asked, not quite sure if he had heard her correctly.
"Nothing." She wrote something on her notepad, which made Sean increasingly nervous.
"Hope the rest of the day goes smoothly enough, now that everything's been cleared up," PJ announced cheerfully. As they turned away to leave, Sean thought he saw Shelly glance back one last time at both him and Viggo, and with the way Viggo was staring at him, Sean was beginning to wonder if it really was easier to lie.
Author:
clocksRating: PG-13 for language
Warnings: Fluff
Beta:
mindovermoneyRequest: Genres - humor, silliness, fluff, adventure... just nothing too serious; Ratings - PG-13 up to NC-17; Prompt(s) or general mood(s) - nosy visitor
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. It's make believe and completely untrue.
Summary: When a reporter visits the Rings set, the hobbits get up to no good.
Author's Note: Dear
rubyelf, I hope this fulfils the requirement! I tried to make it as silly as I could.The memo was sent out early that morning, copies quickly making their way to the far-flung corners of all four units. Sean himself received it the moment he plopped down in the make-up chair that morning, struggling to keep his eyes open and feeling like death warmed over. Never again would he allow Viggo to take him out drinking the night before a morning shoot, no matter how persuasive the bastard was.
Sean squinted at the memo, which had been signed directly by PJ, and underneath his signature, Peter had scrawled in his messy, loopy handwriting: 'NO SHENNANIGANS PLS.' Not exactly surprising, given that this was the first time a reporter was allowed on the Rings set. Sean suspected that the warning had more to do with the hobbits than anybody else, but he seriously doubted an addendum like that would prevent them from planning any so-called shenanigans. If anything, it was an outright encouragement.
Sure enough, he found them already deep in discussion while standing in line at Craft services during breakfast. "What did the memo say again?" Dom asked with a frown. "Which magazine is the journo from?"
"No idea, think it's 'Entertainment Weekly' or something," Elijah replied, heaping an eye-popping amount of scrambled eggs onto his plate. "All I know is that it's a Pretty Big Deal."
"All the more reason to sabotage this, gentlemen," Billy said cheerfully. Billy was always ridiculously chirpy in the morning, which made Sean suspect that he was either masochistic or perpetually high. "Let me hear some ideas, please."
"I say we get Lighe to act like some big-shot movie star douchebag on set, and the rest of us can't have any eye contact with him, summat like that," Dom said, his eyes gleaming.
"Oh, that's fucking brilliant," Elijah said in awe. "And you guys will have to address me as 'Mr. Wood' and not Elijah--"
"Guys, you do know this is going to blow up spectacularly in your faces, right?" Astin said tiredly. "And I'm just going to stand there, pointing and laughing at you while PJ rips you guys a new one."
"Shush, shush." Billy waved a hand dismissively at him, making Astin sigh a long-suffering sigh. "That's brilliant, we'll be Lij's entourage and act like the sun shines out of his arse. What about Orlando?"
Sean just shook his head with a smile as he helped himself to several strips of bacon, already pitying the poor bastard reporter who was obviously going to be in for a multitude of nasty surprises. He briefly wondered where Viggo was; his friend had seemed to be in better shape last night when he had left Sean's trailer, but then again, appearances could be deceiving. Sean had always been able to drink Viggo under the table.
As he followed the hobbits to a nearby table, he kept half an ear on their conversation, not really wanting to participate in their shenanigans but curious all the same. Also, he wanted to be prepared so he could avoid being involved and therefore feign ignorance when PJ eventually went ballistic.
"We can spread a rumour that Orlando is shagging half the crew," Dom announced triumphantly, to applause from Elijah and Billy. "I'll ask Ngila and Kitty later to pretend to fight over him when the journo starts poking his nose around."
"You lot are terrible," Sean found himself saying, but he regretted it immediately as three mischievous faces (and one resigned one) turned to stare at him. "What if the journo thinks all of this is real? We're all going to come across as real pillocks."
"Who is?" Viggo asked as he appeared, plonking himself down at the table and practically inhaling a cup of pitch-black coffee. The bags under his eyes were a testament to his inability to hold his liquor as well as Sean could. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Have you seen the memo?" Billy shoved it under his nose, and Viggo's eyes skimmed through the first few lines before he shrugged.
"A reporter is coming later today, so?" He looked around at them for guidance, sipping the coffee. It was so strong that Sean could see the oily swirls on the surface.
"So, we're going to give that reporter something to write about," Dom said. But his eyes were flitting between Sean and Viggo, and a smile was growing on his face. "Lads, what about Beanie and Vig? What should they do?"
"No, no, leave us out of it, please." Sean held up a hand to silence their protests. "I have no wish to convince some nosy reporter that I'm sleeping with the crew or forbidding people to have eye contact with me."
Billy's delight was obvious as an idea dawned on him. "Of course! Why didn't I think about this earlier? You--" He pointed at Sean, "and you--", then he pointed at Viggo, "are going to pretend to have a secret relationship that you are hidin' from this reporter."
"Bugger off," Sean growled, while Viggo simply laughed. "Don't you think we have anything better to do?"
"Why not?" Viggo was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I think it's pretty hilarious."
"You would, you nutter." Sean concentrated on his breakfast, even though Viggo was stealing strips of bacon off his plate. "I'm not doing it, now you lot piss off."
"Figures," Dom said airily, as the rest turned back to their breakfast. "Bunch of old farts wouldn't want to play our game anyway."
Sean ignored him, while Viggo held up a finger. "Hey now, that's not fair, I never said no," Viggo reminded them.
"Your boyfriend did." Elijah's smirk remained even as Sean flipped two fingers at him. "Is it me or are all people named Sean a complete stick in the mud?"
"Sean Foote is pretty cool," Dom reminded him, making Elijah nod. "Can't speak for these two, though. Oh well."
"We're doing it," Viggo said triumphantly, even as Sean groaned. "What? I'm not going to let them call you a stick in the mud. I'm protecting the honour of Seans all over, y'know."
"Thanks but no thanks," Astin said as he got up to refill his coffee. However, now everyone was staring expectantly at Sean, who seriously wanted to grab Viggo and kick his arse. If it wasn't bad enough that they were getting pulled into some asinine stunt, they were now forcing Sean to pretend to do something that he was not really ready to deal with, something that he had buried beneath the surface and wasn't willing to examine yet, at least not while Viggo could guess what was going on with him.
Ironically, in the end, it was the pleading expression on Viggo's face that made him give in. It was very hard for Sean to say no to Viggo, to those intense blue eyes and that slightly hopefully expression Viggo was always giving him, the one that seemed to say 'We're in this together.' Sean didn't really want to examine why it was so easy to give in to whatever Viggo wanted of him. "Fine, fine, fine, but we're doing this only for a day, and if the reporter prints any shite that's not true, you lot are answering to PJ."
Dom and Billy exchanged a high-five, while Elijah pumped his fist in the air. "Don't worry, New Line will definitely vet the article before it goes to print," Elijah was saying, a deliberate innocent expression on his face which had probably suckered in several girls (and Orlando) on many occasions. "We'll be fine, it'll be hilarious. You'll see."
Sean grunted and merely continued to eat his breakfast.
***
The reporter turned out to be a nondescript woman in her 30s, blonde and wearing black-rimmed glasses. Philippa introduced her to everyone as Shelly sometime after breakfast, and Shelly had smiled politely at everyone. Sean overheard a few PAs talking cattily about her outfit, which he personally thought was fine, but apparently the girls thought she looked like a dowdy librarian with her blue checked coat. He just smiled and shook Shelly's hand when he was introduced, but Viggo went the extra mile and took her around part of the Rivendell set with Philippa. Sean would have thought that Viggo was laying it on a bit thick, but to be honest, Viggo was like that with everyone. He was just a nice, genuine bloke.
Sean forgot about the hobbits' plans for a while as he had to report to Unit 2 for another scene, running across the set with Boromir's rich red cloak sweeping behind him. Once he got there, he wasted no time in immersing himself in the scene, so intent on getting the delivery of his lines right that he almost didn't notice Shelly standing behind one of the cameras, tapping her pen against her lips. Viggo was saying something to her, pointing at Sean with wide, sweeping gestures, and Shelly seemed to be fascinated.
Oh bloody hell, not the stupid plan. Remembering what he had promised Viggo, Sean let his stare linger a little too long, and when Viggo caught his eye, he pretended to look down embarrassedly, shifting his feet a little.
"Sean, camera left, please?" someone called out.
"Sorry," he called out, giving Viggo one last furtive glance. To his surprise, Viggo was giving him this really intent stare, as though Sean were a painting that had captured his imagination. Wow, Vig is really putting a lot of effort into this. When he finally risked another glance, both Viggo and Shelly were gone.
***
Wherever Shelly the reporter went, Sean could sense the air almost shifting, as it were. He could see people straightening up, looking more alert, smiling a little too brightly and being on their best behaviour. The only ones who didn't do this were the hobbits, who were being led around by a very aloof, demanding Elijah wearing sunglasses - sunglasses! - on the set, snapping his fingers and demanding coffee. Sean almost snorted with laughter and gave the game away when he saw Philippa's astonished expression at Elijah's new diva persona, but thankfully he managed to keep a straight face. As usual, Shelly faithfully recorded everything down on her notepad in that strange Alienese shorthand. Viggo was no longer with her, having to shoot a scene with Kiran and Phon, and now Barrie was the one accompanying Shelly around the set.
Sean soon got a quick break, in which he bummed a cigarette off an extra and went to watch Viggo shoot his Amon Hen scenes. It was a treat, watching Viggo act, and apparently Sean wasn't the only one who thought so, judging from the crowd of admirers gathered behind the cameras. Careful to keep Boromir's cloak off the floor lest he incur Wardrobe's wrath, Sean puffed away and kept his eyes on Viggo, feeling simultaneously awed and jealous.
"Cut!" As the cameras stopped rolling, the small audience clapped politely, going forward to congratulate Viggo on his scene. But Sean hung back, aware that Viggo always needed a few moments to snap out of Aragorn.
Sure enough, by the time Viggo approached him, the last regal vestiges of Aragorn were fading from his eyes. "Great work," he murmured, as Viggo filched the cig from him and took a long drag. "Even got yer own little fanclub, eh?"
"Get bent." Viggo's smirk of amusement took the sting out of his words. "Missed your bitching all morning."
"You were with that reporter all morning," Sean said, then regretted it instantly because it sounded accusatory, almost jealous. And that wasn't the case at all. Unfortunately Viggo seemed to have picked up on it, due to how he was suddenly looking closely at Sean. "Vig, what are you doing?"
"Nothing." Viggo's voice sounded dreamy, almost breathy. "I meant it when I said I missed you all morning."
Oh, the reporter must be nearby. Sean tossed aside the cigarette, a hand twisting in Aragorn's cloak and tugging him closer. "Me too, mate. God, you smell so good."
Viggo's smile was just pure sunshine. From where they were standing, they were shielded by the door of the wardrobe trailer, but if someone were looking for them, it wouldn't be very hard to spot them. And Sean knew that Shelly must be around somewhere, or else Viggo wouldn't be hamming it up. "What do I smell like?" Viggo murmured, his voice going down an octave, low and intimate.
Wow, Vig is really an amazing actor. Sean could actually feel his pulse racing, the nearness of Viggo's body throwing off his concentration a bit. "Soap," Sean said after a while, licking his lips. Viggo's gaze dropped downwards. "Wood. Leaves. Cigs."
"Thought that last one was you." Viggo was leaning in as though to kiss him, but just as Sean closed his eyes, the distant blare of a megaphone calling everyone back to set startled both of them, and Sean hurriedly stepped away, his eyes darting around for Shelly to see if she had bought this little scene.
She was nowhere to be found.
"I'll see you at lunch," Viggo said, running a hand through Aragorn's wig as thought it were his own hair, before he stumbled away, leaving Sean blinking.
***
The antics of the hobbits had definitely raised a few eyebrows, particularly when Elijah started yelling at Dom for not picking out the raisins from his trail mix, while Shelly stood nearby, scribbling furiously on her notepad the entire time. Sean simply watched from the sidelines, incredulous. By now, Shelly should have picked up on how suspicious the entire fiasco was, and Sean thought he had seen Philippa walking towards PJ's trailer earlier, looking grim. If the game wasn't already up, surely it would be soon.
"I'll tell you, either that reporter is completely blind, or she's playing along," Orlando said as he stood smoking with Sean, watching Elijah pitch yet another fit in front of a wide-eyed Shelly and Barrie. "I heard you and Vig were supposed to pretend to fancy each other, has she caught on to that yet?"
"God knows," Sean said, taking in a particularly deep drag of his cig. "Can't say either Vig or I have put in much effort though, we couldn't be arsed."
At this point, Orlando almost choked on his own cigarette, smoke puffing out of him in weak clouds as he thumped his own chest, while Sean looked on in alarm. "Mate, you all right?"
"Nothing." Orlando waved him away, replacing the cig back between his lips. "Just thought it was funny."
"What was?"
"You and Vig. Not 'making an effort,' as it were." Orlando hooked his fingers in the air, looking a little smug. "Unless the two of you were filming, you've barely left each other's sides."
Sean stood there, a little stunned. Did Orlando happen to see that almost-kiss behind the wardrobe trailer? No, he couldn't have. He settled for a glare instead, hoping to scare the kid into silence. "No idea what you're on about."
"Yeah, all right, whatever." The smirk on Orlando's face was rather aggravating. "Maybe it's because you and Vig spend all your time together anyway, so it doesn't feel any different."
"I think that's a bit of an exaggeration."
"Oh? Where were you last night?" Now Orlando was staring at him through the disconcerting, alien blue gaze of Legolas's eyes. "And the night before then? And on your day off? Yeah, that's what I thought."
"You spend all your spare time with the hobbits too, you wanker." There was no way Sean was going down without a fight.
"Yeah, because of Elijah." Orlando was giving him a look that could only be described as the nonverbal equivalent of 'duh'. "My point is still very much valid, Beano."
"Vig and I are just mates," Sean said, stubbing out his cigarette as someone on the set called for lunch. "You can believe whatever you want, but if anything daft happens today, it's all for that reporter's benefit."
"Uh huh, sure." Orlando adjusted the bandanna he was wearing that was protecting the blonde Legolas wig. "Anyway, have lunch with me?"
"I'm meeting V--" Sean only realised it was a trap after he had answered, glaring at Orlando who was laughing and laughing, his not-brown eyes crinkled in mirth.
He still went ahead and met Viggo for lunch, anyway.
***
The game was finally up when Sean spotted PJ on the warpath, pulling aside the hobbits for a Very Serious Talk. But at least Elijah pretended to look contrite and ashamed, while Dom and Billy could barely contain their glee. It was a little amusing, seeing how Peter looked very much like a hobbit himself, and it felt like watching a father admonishing his hobbit sons for bad behaviour, which Sean realised was not that far from the truth. He quickly disappeared in case they started looking for him and Viggo next, and that was how he found himself in front of Viggo's trailer, knocking sheepishly on the door.
It swung open to reveal a shirtless Viggo, but he was still wearing Aragorn's breeches. He waved Sean in, not bothering to ask why he had dropped by; they both did it often enough to do away with any preliminaries. Sean closed the door behind him, peeking out of the window. Now PJ and Philippa seemed to be apologising profusely to Shelly, but at least the reporter seemed to be taking all this in her stride. For a moment, Sean almost felt a burst of admiration for her enduring all this nonsense.
"I'm guessing that their cover has been blown," Viggo said quietly, wiping his torso with a towel while Sean pretended that he wasn't wishing he was a towel.
"Serves them right," Sean said, dropping into the nearest chair and watching Viggo clean up. "And you had to agree and sign up for that rubbish too."
To his surprise, there was a fleeting expression of distress on Viggo's face. "You thought it was 'rubbish'?"
"Um." Sean frowned at the stained coffee cup sitting on top of a stack of books nearby. Why did he feel like he had just kicked a puppy in the gut? "Well, I dunno, mate. Maybe it was good for a laugh--"
"Yeah." Now Viggo was not looking at him, but Sean definitely did not imagine the slight grimace on his face before he turned away, his tone resigned. "Good for a laugh."
"Hey." Sean was on his feet before he even realised it, striding towards Viggo and grabbing his shoulders, because maybe it wasn't exactly about having a laugh, and maybe it had nothing to do with the reporter or the hobbits or the memo, and everything to do with the way Viggo looked at him, looked to him constantly, the two of them spending every scrap of free time together even though daily 16-hour shoots left them battered and tired and exhausted, and still they gravitated to each other like magnets, and Sean was a classic idiot if he hadn't realised by now why he was never able to say no to Viggo. But instead of telling him all this, the words were stuck in a helpless clump in his throat, and he just stared at Viggo, wanting to smooth away the crease in his brow.
Viggo was now looking at him, those pale blue eyes so open and searching, and Sean closed the distance between them, teasing Viggo's lips open into a slow kiss, his fingers sliding into the strands of Aragorn's wig. They only broke apart when they heard the banging on the door, and PJ's tentative, "Viggo?" They smiled a little sheepishly at each other, and Viggo turned to go and find a shirt.
They opened the door to find PJ, Philippa, Barrie, Shelly and a very contrite Dom crowding the entrance, looking in and eyeing Sean and Viggo. He let Viggo explain that this was all a huge asinine bet that they had going, and they were completely in league with the hobbits and Orlando, and they were very sorry for misleading Shelly and causing her any distress. PJ seemed to accept this with a nod, while Shelly was still standing there, her head cocked, looking at the two of them with the tiniest smile on her face.
"So it was all an act," she said, even though her eyes were dancing with amusement.
"Yes, I'm afraid it was. Sorry, luv," Sean said, trying not to wonder why Philippa looked slightly crestfallen.
"That's all right." Shelly's gaze was flitting between the both of them, her lips curving up even more. "A bit of a shame, though."
"Sorry?" Sean asked, not quite sure if he had heard her correctly.
"Nothing." She wrote something on her notepad, which made Sean increasingly nervous.
"Hope the rest of the day goes smoothly enough, now that everything's been cleared up," PJ announced cheerfully. As they turned away to leave, Sean thought he saw Shelly glance back one last time at both him and Viggo, and with the way Viggo was staring at him, Sean was beginning to wonder if it really was easier to lie.