wordsontongue | Disclosure (Reply)

Title: Disclosure
Author:

foxrafer
Rating: PG
Warnings: Very minor angst
Prompt(s): #18: confession and "cupboards filled with nothing"
Disclaimer: All make-believe and not written for financial gain

He was cold, so very cold, chilled deep in his bones. It was painful to sit still, his body almost numb straight to the core. And worse still? He had made this; the frigid air that now tried to suffocate had been his own creation.

It wasn't jealousy, but Viggo knew Sean felt Karl's presence more acutely than any of their other friends. The possibility of a "Viggo and Karl" had always been there, long before there was a chance for a "Viggo and Sean." And while still not together, when he left for Japan he and Sean were at least heading in the same direction and it seemed like only a matter of time. Yet he still gave in to years of desire, charmed and teased and seduced Karl into his bed. It was the right time and place, the only time and place, but the moment it happened Viggo knew it was something Sean should never know.

But tonight the words had just come, seemingly on their own accord. Not to punish or to hurt, but out of some unexamined need to have everything on the table, all secrets laid bare. Viggo recognized the flicker of pain, the questions and doubts that Sean wouldn't speak but suddenly stood like a wall between them. There'd been a reason he'd never told Sean about Karl, a reason that despite time and distance he had never revealed this one truth.

So he paced, straightened pictures, realigned books. Suddenly he craved macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, any comfort food, something that would make him feel less alone, less cold. But the pantry was nearly empty, the refrigerator deathly quiet, both mirroring the void he felt building inside. A bottle of whisky was empty before he realized it, a fresh pot of coffee brewed and consumed.

As the night began to fade into dawn Viggo finally heard the door open, footsteps on hardwood then the steady tread up worn stairs. He turned to face tired eyes but not angry, less vivid but not closed off. Sean leaned against the bedroom door and lit a cigarette, blew out the smoke in a long, heavy sigh. No tension, no vitriol, and Viggo remembered to breathe, could feel the warmth begin to return.