Someday

[vbmods.livejournal.com]

Title: Someday
Author: stormatdusk
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Prompt(s): #7: perfunctory
Disclaimer: This is only fiction and is in no way connected to the people you may recognize.
Summary: Viggo may be ready.



He's sometimes wondered

quietly,
privately

If there might ever come a time

When he would step outside the familiar, perhaps

Set aside the commonplace, maybe

When he would move beyond the ordinary
the mundane
the vanilla...

If there might come a time

When he'd strain to better hear the seductive voices
Whispering to him in the night

When he'd explore the darker images
Flickering in murky shadows in his mind

When he'd reach for the hazy heat
Prowling just beyond his hungry dreams

Tonight
On his knees, and
Shivering
Beneath Sean's glittering gaze
Viggo thinks Someday

Might be

Now.

Comments

[splix.livejournal.com]

The structure is gorgeous, and it has such a feeling of the beginning of the rest of his life, if that makes sense. So, so good - memorying this one. Thank you for sharing it. :)

[stormatdusk.livejournal.com]

thank you so much. ♥

[j-flattermann.livejournal.com]

It is mesmerising me. The chain of thoughts and yet action still outstanding, will it ever happen?

[stormatdusk.livejournal.com]

i'm glad it worked for you. :)

[alex-quine.livejournal.com]

This is an intriguing piece and the structure fully supports the action, but the prompt is intriguing in that there's nothing perfunctory about what your Vig's pondered (love the use of 'quietly, privately'), nor in the possible future. Perhaps it is that the moment arrives so unlooked for, so unexpectedly that he has no more time than to think, 'Now' before he's there...

[stormatdusk.livejournal.com]

thank you so much for your thoughtful comment.

[itstonedme.livejournal.com]

T.S. Eliot wrote: "No verse is free for the man [or in your case, the woman] who wants to do a good job."

Case in point: this remarkably laid out poem that charts a tentative journey, using language and space to perfection in illustrating the emotional nature of that journey. And here's what particularly thrills -- it gets more and more brilliant with each reading.

You have outdone yourself. This is definitely getting a rec. ♥

[stormatdusk.livejournal.com]

so glad you liked. thank you thank you.

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

damn.

[stormatdusk.livejournal.com]

:)

[msilverstar]

I came back around to list this, and I like it even more on second reading: the subtle tension works really well for me. Sean's glittering gaze, oh yeah.

[stormatdusk.livejournal.com]

thank you, honey! subtle tension - i love that. ♥